The Necessity of Community & Boundaries

We were created for community and need it in order to live in the fullness of what God has for us, though some of us choose isolation out of hurt, shyness, lack of value for ourselves - OR we just can't stomach fake people in the church. As my 4 year old says, "Don't call me, don't come by my house...over it, done!" LOL! I think we all feel that way at times.

Let's start by addressing the elephant in the room - the problem with community is that problems/issues will arise; people are involved. It's inevitable and inescapable. And if I'm being honest with you, I too have grown tired of people in the church behaving badly (either by embracing their sin, treating others poorly, or manipulating and being inauthentic). Just stating the truth here. It makes it harder for those that are seriously committed and sincerely trying, who may be struggling but making an honest effort to change and grow. The fact is - lukewarm Christianity is a nightmare and it's rampant. I've seen these people's behavior cause good people to walk away from the church. It has to be addressed.

Side Note: Please don't allow other people's bad behavior to diminish or demolish your relationship with Jesus or pull you out of fellowship. Their actions are not a reflection of who He is or what He stands for.

But God. He can enter into these messes and help us sort out the noise and nonsense. We've got to start rebuilding - and move forward.

I hope you can hear my heart in this...as this part is a hard topic but also one we must be careful in addressing. While I'm not a fan of running to quick judgement, it's true that some people need to be excommunicated from a church. Wow...that's a terrible sounding word, but the Lord included this because sanctification can come through it and it also protects what is good and holy. It's important to note - this is part of leadership's responsibility; to make sure that "inauthentic" people aren't hindering or hurting the faithful. Some boundaries must be set for the health of the flock and the salvation of the offender. Read the following scripture and note the bold section. Excommunication is intended to save the individual's soul; not a license for hate or ungodly behavior on our part. This is actually about love.

I Corinthians 5

"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

Community is good and boundaries are necessary for health. Healthy communities are fruitful communities. Yes please and hallelujah!

Alright, now that we've gotten past the obvious and most frustrating reasons we avoid community/fellowship...let's answer this: why is community vital?

The Body of Christ is not made whole with only 30% of the people who make it up doing the work (this is a statistical number, by the way). We all have a part in this - we don't have a part in complacency or anonymity. The Body always suffers when only a few do the work of many. How many of you have had jobs where you were pulling the weight of 3+ people and you felt not only burned out, but bitter? It doesn't work, does it? You can carry that weight for a time, but eventually, the effects of overworking one individual will play out with errors and sometimes, a total collapse. How many of you know when one part of your body is sick it causes the other areas to compensate, eventually leading to their "dysfunction" as well?

Friends, we are living in a critical hour; what looks to be a collapse at least here in the Western world. Truth and righteousness in the church is buckling under the pressures of modern culture, and I see people I love on a regular basis embracing sin. I blame much of this on leadership and its complacency; as well as the masses of casual Christians that fill our churches.

Few are doing the faithful/fruitful work and the rest have one foot in the church and one foot out. It doesn't work. And we are watching the fallout. Sadly, we have allowed this to happen by not speaking up, as well as wearing "busyness" as a badge of honor. Some of us "live" life non-stop and to a point that its toxic behavior has diminished the gospel in our lives.

As for some pastors or leaders - they've been retired at the pulpit or watered down the message and expectations of the people to keep the "so called" peace or stay "seeker friendly." I truly believe we do need to be sensitive to the "seeker" but not at the expense of Truth and sincere life change.

One other element - please don't buy into the thinking it's "professional Christians" that do the work or that you're too imperfect to have a role. On the flip side of the pastors retired at the pulpit, there are many others running themselves ragged because people in the church don't feel it's their job to evangelize (to the world or those in the faith). Guess what, it's everyone's job to evangelize. Even you fellow "shy/introverted" people. ;) No one get's out of this command from the Lord.

Mark 16: 15-18

15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. 16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

So what will your answer be when you are before the Lord giving an account of your life? I didn't take You at Your Word, I thought that verse was for someone else...I was busy planning my next vacation...I needed to take care of me, myself, and I...I wasn't good at _____ (fill in the blank)...I was shy...I thought women weren't supposed to _____ (fill in the blank). Friends...if you don't know yet that women are absolutely called by God to speak/preach/teach etc. - I implore you to read this book (The Handmaidens Conspiracy, by: Donna Howell).

Don't go through the rest of your life without the Truth. I'm not sharing this with you flippantly, rather I have spent 8 years now researching in depth before writing this. We need solid, biblical Truth to reign. You've got to do your own research instead of going by what you've been told, or plainly reading 1 Timothy 2:8-15 without any historical understanding/context.

I could rattle on - but let's touch on ways YOU can make the difference. You CAN change if you've been struggling with community and holding the church at arms-length. I see you, I'm not upset with you - I'm here to encourage you, not condemn you! And if you're battling through some funk, message me. If I can answer anything in a way to spur you on towards the goal, I will! God knows your hurts and fears and He wants you to dive back in.

My Prayer for You

Heavenly Father, I know You desire us to be unified, to stay in fellowship and have peace. I know it's not going to be perfect as long as we are involved and here on this earth. But with You in the middle of the mess, we know we can be fruitful and move past hurt and wasted time. Lord help us to desire Your Word, desire Your purpose, desire Your will...and seek to save the lost as well as take our own salvation seriously. Any of us can fall into the trap of sin and I pray that we stay sober-minded...that we commit our ways to You and despise foolish things and wastes of time. Let us be productive in this season, ready for the harvest and willing to work together for the good of Your Kingdom! In Jesus' name, amen.

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